self-care

Travelling solo for the first time allowed me to regain my sense of self outside of motherhood. It showed me that I could still be a whole and interesting person without using my kids as my stand-in.

The shame was overwhelming. Why was my body broken? What had I done to my baby? I began to spiral into self-loathing. Gestational diabetes felt like a failure.

I suppose it seems that “my best life” is one where I have time and financial dollars to foster sick baby goats back to health, while also homeschooling all my kiddos, with ample hours left for one-on-one muscle toning and stretching sessions, and perhaps a quilting circle with close friends too…

It can really take a toll on you when you have to parent a parent.

Is it better to be alone than to be in a miserable relationship?

I decided to experiment. I would set my alarm and get up at 6 AM (or earlier) for seven days straight, no matter what.

No one ever told me that relaxing would be such a hard thing to do.

Even if I have no plans to leave the house — or if I had plans to leave the house and got to anxious to follow through with them — I find a great deal of power in the simple act of painting my face and commemorating the ritual with a selfie.