body positivity

I want to be seen, too. But now that I’ve settled into my fat body, now that I don’t waste my insomnia on worrying about my husband leaving me for a skinny blonde (as I’ve been warned), now that getting dressed isn’t an existential crisis, now that I shop online and just avoid the back of the store relegation, beauty has lost its magic.

I saw my boobs as a way to get me into the secret world of feminine desirability, so I played them like they were my winning hand. I created an entire story about my sexuality that centered my breasts because they felt like the only normal — or maybe extraordinary — thing about my body. I think I hoped that I could use them to get some precious ween (obvi), but also to get MORE.

[CN: diets, not eating (both satirical)] So, you’ve tried every diet out there. You are fed up — and often barely fed at all. The South Beach Diet, The North Pole Diet, The Atkins Diet, The Fatkins Diet, Weight Watchers, Weight Ignorers… The list is as long as your droopy face.

[CN: alcohol] Once we were in her apartment she grabbed me by the necktie, kissed me softly on the lips, told me to take my clothes off, and walked into her bedroom. Her clothing dropped to the ground piece by piece from where I stood to the bedroom — like some sort of Hansel and Gretel breadcrumb situation (if it were less creepy and filmed for Cinemax).

I didn’t think that my disordered, fatphobic mindset could be rewired — until, one day, I realized that that very thing had happened. Somehow the new ideas had broken through!
There is still work to be done, but by re-educating myself, making a priceless network of body-positive friends, and upgrading my media influence, I am on the right path.

When you’re helping people zip up dresses and watching their reactions to certain items of clothing, you start noticing patterns. Here are four of the phrases I hear most often in the dressing room, and how I wish — oh, how I wish! — I could respond.

We are still sharing our days in all the ways we usually share days — talking about kids, bills, dinner, stress. And now we are sharing the times we are most vulnerable, the times we need to hear something good about ourselves.

In my work as an entertainment writer, some of the easiest stories are the post-baby body reveals. You know the type: “Within three days of delivery, Celebrity Person shed any trace her womb housing a growing baby for the past 10 months! Look at those abs!”