trauma

For me, eating is like going to the dentist. I know I have see the dentist, but I don’t enjoy it. Eating three meals a day is like going to the dentist three times a day. For other people, a good meal is something to look forward to, and eating is a pleasure. For me, it’s work, it’s anxiety-inducing, and it’s not even sort of enjoyable.

It did not solve all of my problems. It did not make the reality of this deep hurt go away. But it did make me feel more like myself, which I'd begun to fear I would never feel again.

I have to accept the fact that Black men are not allowed to deal with their mental health issues — specifically personality and schizoaffective disorders. The man I considered a deadbeat dad for most of my life is a victim too.

I have to accept the fact that Black men are not allowed to deal with their mental health issues — specifically personality and schizoaffective disorders. The man I considered a deadbeat dad for most of my life is a victim too.

"Writing about trauma or difficult experiences doesn’t repair that trauma,” said Melanie. “It doesn’t make it go away. But I kept hearing what a transformative thing it was for [the memoirists] to shape these stories into something that they could be proud of.”

You feel it. The change.

I struggle to find language that describes the messy tangle of thoughts and memories that weigh down every spoonful. If I had to tell you about my relationship with food in a sentence: I am totally and completely obsessed with it.

Self-care can be a lot of things.