Parenting

“Congratulations, Joni. You have a UTI so bad my machine can't even read it.”

I like to give everything 110%, even my bacterial infections. I like to give everything 110%... except myself.

I think “It can be difficult” probably qualifies for the understatement of the century. There is just nothing in a phrase so casual and noncommittal that conveys anything like the reality of this labor of love. I’m not saying that we need to be all doom and gloom about parenting all the time — there are plenty of joys in parenting, and plenty of space to talk about those joys — but I do think that when we’re trying to talk about the hard parts, we should, you know, actually talk about the hard parts.

Were you going to run into that cute guy John Williams on the way home? Would you see Anne Marie by the lockers and sort out what to do for the weekend? It was hit-or-miss, and that was the beauty of it. The breath-holding chance of it all. Now, our kids’ friends are as close as a keyboard stroke away. It’s too easy.

Although I haven't gone out of my way to be naked around my 6-year-old daughter (and we haven't had any direct discussion about my nude body), I certainly haven't hid my body from her either. If I’m in the shower and she needs her hair washed, I'll pull her in with me. If I’m drying my hair, naked as I do, I don’t mind if she's standing next to me brushing her teeth. Why? I don't want her views on what a body is "supposed" to look like to be shaped by the one-sided view the media presents.

The "Mega-Mouth" Mom: You’ll usually be able to hear her before you can see her. Not one to be discreet in her conversations, the whole playground usually knows of her business (and other people’s).

The heart wants what the heart wants, and my daughter’s heart is a Lisa Frank landscape made up of sparkles and rainbows and princesses and unicorns. It’s just who she is, and I am OK with that. But what I am not completely fine with is her labeling these preferences as being “for girls” or “for boys.”

I see you now, and the parts of you that are me: your smile, the shape of your face, becoming an adult, becoming a person who doesn't always need their mother when they fall. I see you slowly becoming an adult, and I remember how you turned my world upside-down when I was your age.

“My daughter is in kindergarten in the United States. She’s 6. She loves unicorns and mermaids and soccer. And I’m concerned about my community forcing her to share the restroom with men."