Culture

There’s something that happens on social media every time a celebrity dies. After the initial shock and questions of “is it a hoax?” have abated, people start telling stories.

David Bowie’s music is like that –– all the best music in the world is like that. There’s nothing like the feeling you get when music transcends you, when you can feel your heart try to leave your chest and become part of a song.

In Anchorage, Alaska, there are 5 hours, 27 minutes of daylight on December 21. The good news: The numbers only go up for the next six months. The bad news: December 22 has merely seconds more light.

I know what autism looks like, and I understand why people are afraid of it because, at its worst moments, it is desperately, terribly ugly — it is children who can’t communicate, who become adults who are unable to live independently, and who simply cannot cope with the onslaught of sensory input that we barely notice. It is meltdowns that are triggered by nothing and everything, learning difficulties, and services that cost our healthcare system billions of dollars every year.

Feminism is so hot right now; even men are feminists, ladies. Channing Tatum is doing feminism, Jon Hamm is doing feminism...all the good ones, really. So, how do you know if you’re a feminist? And how do you know if you are feminist enough?

You actually sort of replace your shampoo with some baking soda mixed with a bit of water and “wash” your hair with that. In this situation, wash = pouring a home remedy for dishware scorch marks over your head and crying because you miss the smell of Pantene.

Leo women are phenomenal. They love to run the show in their household, and in the bedroom. A Leo woman loves to be adored, caressed and (most importantly) have great sex. She doesn’t want to leave the bedroom until she’s satisfied, so she needs a man who can keep up with her.

Oh, you say you’re making this for your neighbor who just had a baby and a traumatic birth experience and you want to be an Exceptional Neighbor and bring her post-partum love and healing in a warm, bubbling cake dish? Fantastic. Just make sure to eat half of the cobbler straight out of the pan first, and then transfer it to another pan and pretend it’s meant to look like a pan of berry mush.