slut-shaming

It's taken me years to appreciate my body. There is nothing wrong with wanting to show it off. I never let a guy tell me what to wear!

Black women in abusive relationships are disproportionately killed by domestic violence, and if what Rob Kardashian is doing right now is any indication of his temper and inability to control his rage, then there is no telling what he will do next to Blac Chyna or what it would take to stop him.

Here is the thing about sexuality: women are still perceived as NOT having the same sexual appetite as men. Sure, we’ve made a lot of strides toward accepting female sexuality and understanding that WOMEN REALLY DO LIKE SEX, but we’re far away from being in a place that is equal to men.

I’m not writing this in order to get defensive about my number of partners, by the way. I’ve had sex with around 25 people since the end of 2012 and I’m perfectly proud of and comfortable with that number. However, asking someone you’re dating about how many people they’ve slept with is a question meant to make them feel ashamed.

As moms and dads, we probably don’t talk directly about rape to kids, at least not until they’re older. But we’re still sending messages about sex and consent all the time. Because of that, we need to make sure we’re not teaching them some very dangerous lessons, even if just by accident.

[CN: suicidality, hospitalization, rape culture, slut-shaming.] We all needed a place to recover, a place where our problems could be addressed and dealt with, a place where we could feel safe. However, the way the women in the ward were treated couldn’t possibly have made us feel safe or comfortable.

Four years ago, I could be found most mornings at the same café with the same blue notebook and a mug of hot coffee. I was trying to write the story of how I got herpes.