dating

He’s pretty much exactly the kind of guy with whom I would want a long-term relationship. At least, that’s how I was feeling until yesterday, when he posted a picture of himself and some girl on Instagram, saying that he was so happy to be in love and celebrating his TWO-YEAR ANNIVERSARY with her!

I do have one advantage when it comes to meeting people online: I really like dating. I like getting dressed up and going out. I even kind of dig meeting someone new. I know these are aspects of dating other people dread, but I’ve always enjoyed these things. Perhaps this is one explanation for (or else a result of) my sex work past, I dunno. I know that, in the beginning, I thought of dating as an adventure. I didn’t take it too seriously.

[CN: alcohol] Once we were in her apartment she grabbed me by the necktie, kissed me softly on the lips, told me to take my clothes off, and walked into her bedroom. Her clothing dropped to the ground piece by piece from where I stood to the bedroom — like some sort of Hansel and Gretel breadcrumb situation (if it were less creepy and filmed for Cinemax).

Dear Erin, I am a lesbian and am currently talking again to this girl who I’ve dated in the past. She and I dated for seven months, until I cheated on her (which was obviously messed up on my part). After we broke up, she started dating my best friend who is literally the same person as me.

Being attracted to your oppressor is hard. It means that the people you want to date (or fuck) are also people who contribute to your marginalization, who have privilege that you don't, and who, more often than not, have internalized some pretty gross ideas about you.

I’ve heard that you learn something new in every relationship you have in life, and I guess that’s true. But I actually learned more in my recent breakup with my ex of nearly a year than I did in the relationship itself. And they were some lessons I really needed.

Over the course of 12 years, I’ve had relationships with eight men: lived with three, planned for marriage three times, and followed through with marriage once. But it has only been within the past six months that I have started dating with intention.

The player — His shady behavior raises suspicions, and he never seems to elaborate on what he’s been doing. His phone constantly bleeps which he deliberately ignores (“must be the mother again…”) before switching it off.