body shaming

The politics of food are the politics of class, and the subtlety of those politics creates a kind of deniability that makes it hard to discern the rules of engagement. One’s success in ascending the ladder is marked by fluency with these invisible boundaries.

Fat is not a feeling you have. Fat is a body size you are. Fat people have as many different feelings about our bodies as thin people do. Suggesting that feeling bad about your body means that you are “feeling fat” is fat shaming AF, and it adds to the ceaseless fatphobic messages that permeate our society.

Just when I think we've made a little headway, some asshole reminds me that yes, people still think fat people are gross.

Over the years, I’ve created an intricate system of rules that keep my calves safely hidden from judging eyes, especially in the summer when shorts and sundresses rule. From where I stand today, I can’t imagine myself becoming the kind of woman who could walk confidently to the subway, in a knee-length skirt, leaving her bulging calves unapologetically exposed for the world to see. But a year ago, I wouldn't have dared to write publicly about my calves. So, I consider this a small yet mighty first step, in the right direction, of hopefully many more to come.

My breathing hastened and my crying intensified. The elevation wasn’t doing me any favors. All I knew was that it was pitch black on a lava field in Guatemala and I’d lost my tour group.

I don’t care about my weight. But other people do.

Some of our happiest moments are those when we think that no one is watching: when we sing at the top of our lungs in our cars, or we dance down the frozen-food aisle of the supermarket allowing ourselves the freedom to let our inner child out. However, when you’re fat and the fat person’s representative, you don’t get any of those times of abandon because you’re always trying to lead by example and show that you’re the perfect fat person.

I understand that feeling good is far more important than looking good. But it's hard to not get caught up in the frenzy to lose all the baby weight when that's the only thing everyone seems to comment on post-delivery.