Sex + Love

You may have heard the old joke that 98% of people masturbate, and the other two percent are lying.

S.L.U.T. (single life under thirty) is officially over and you’re still banging your vibrator. Well, doesn't this suck? Who was prepared for your 30s being so super-lame? Your hair is turning gray, your boobs are getting wrinkles, and what the hell is this on your face? No. Way. Chin. Hair. Not to mention you can no longer drink without getting a hangover.

"If I am holding an amber beer in my hand, I am not talking about naptimes. If I hear shop from your lips, I am ordering you three more martinis and getting you shitfaced..."

I spent seventeen years in an abusive relationship. Not only do I the physical scars to prove it, I carefully tote a heavy heap of emotional scars. Humiliation, fear, and shame were poured into my heart for years, by a person that claimed to love me - my mother.

If you're a woman, in or near your forties, and a perpetual people-pleaser, I have good news for you! You're about to enter a new stage of psychological wisdom and maturity. The people-pleasing that ate away at your sanity is going to become a thing of the past.

And then reality kicks in and you think, “What happened to us?” Where once there were fireworks are now phone calls about broken appliances and picking up diapers. But these changes aren’t necessarily bad. Sometimes things change dramatically and you realize how amazingly better your relationship is now, all these years later.

There was no reason why I should have miscarried, or so I thought. I found a thousand reasons to blame myself. Had I gotten enough rest? Was I getting enough nutrition? As my mind searched for answers and concocted a thousand reasons as to why this happened to me, I started to slowly fall into a depression.

All of the men I met were married, and wanted to stay married. They said they loved their wives, and most said they were happy; yet the sex at home had diminished and they were men after all and needed their desire fulfilled. Besides the eye-rolling common excuse for infidelity, I believed they were telling the truth about loving their wives.