Sex + Love

I've said before that I accept myself as I am, even though there are things I'd love to change about my body. And that's true. But it's not like I woke up one day and thought, “Yep, I'm great. My body is great. Life is great. Everything is great.”

I’m a fat brown girl from an immigrant family. I grew up learning that no one would ever love me because I’m fat. I was taught that I have to work twice as hard to get half as much. If someone looks at me weird or says something rude to me, I always see it or hear it and I have a massive (exhausting) anxiety/adrenaline rush/aggro response/comedown cycle. I feel like I have to fight to maintain dignity and humanity every, single day.

Just because a couple decides to marry doesn’t automatically mean that they want kids. Many couples in loving relationships simply want to share a life together — without any children. There is no rule to say they should.

As an African-American woman, I sympathize greatly with the plight of Black men in America. The most troubling issue for me is the slanted press and stereotypes Black men endure, resulting in them carrying a skewed reputation of being violent, lazy criminals everywhere they go.

Millennials know the '90s were the best decade for music in our lifetime (arguably, best decade EVER). But it’s easy to forget just how many un-freakin-believably kick-butt-love tunes were packed into that 10 years. Let’s rehash the '90s for the autumn lover.

I won't lie: When it comes to my appearance, I'm not my own biggest fan. Others may disagree, but catching a glimpse of myself in my mirrored closet doors is not a pleasant experience.

I am a long-time serial monogamist. At 27, I’ve had three serious relationships, but have never just dated. I’ve always just had significant others as an adult, and now, being single for a sustained period of time for the first time since high school, I’m finally entering the dating world. And I don’t have any idea what I’m doing.

One could make a reasonable argument that I’ve made some (OK, a lot) of mistakes when it comes to relationships. I’ve been a little…messy. It’s not entirely my fault. I blame Beverly Hills, 90210.