Parenting

Before you had kids you were all, "I am going to be SUCH a good parent. I am never going to do what my parents did. Never. TV destroys the developing brain. There will be none of that nonsense."

My six-year-old son fired his therapist. “Michael just told Carla she’s not coming back next week,” my iPhone displayed. I’d just arrived to an appointment with my own counselor, ready to talk about how I’d just survived one of the most difficult weeks in the entire history of my being, and was overtaken with thoughts of my autistic child breaking this news to someone 30 years his senior.

What I’ve learned about kids (after having five — no, really, it's taken that long) is that some of what they are is how you raise them, and some of what they are is what is born in them. And some of it you think you can control, but that’s a dirty lie.

We live in the over-information age, and food is no exception. It's not enough to simply eat "healthy" anymore — everything from how our food is produced and manufactured to its genetic makeup comes under constant scrutiny, and it's nearly impossible to suss out what really matters. The food we eat has become a moral and ethical choice, with a heaping serving of shame, too.

Welcome to Motherhood —The land of never feeling like you’re doing enough.

I’m not there yet. But I need to be honest—I’m closer to 40 than any other multiple of five.

While this final stage might take years to get to, you will finally come to a place where you realize that strong truly is the new sexy and you did something that took all the strength that you have inside you to bring your child into this world. This is not something to take lightly, this is heroic.

Oh I’m so sorry I can’t live up to the apparently widely held parenting standard of never ever making a questionable choice ever. Oh and while we are discussing it, I am also sorry that I am such a lousy human being, that I would pollute the environment with Johnson & Johnson baby bath (the most purchased baby bath IN THE HISTORY OF BABY BATH).