Parenting

When my three-year-old son and I were visiting his grandpa once, a non-surprising exclamation pierced the air, “What’s on his toenails?”

You've probably read parenting books, consulted experts and already formed strong opinions about what's best for your kid. But have you ever stopped and consulted your child about her own upbringing?

My main reason for doing reading testing, enduring a bus ride to a field trip about weapons engineering, and other thrills? Stalking.

For you, dear readers, who are thrilled with the teacher in your life — be it your own teacher, the instructor of your child, or even the person who does piano or karate — this list is for you.

My daughter is 2, and she's a beautiful and incredible spirit. I admire her ability to scream her needs to me and throw food on the floor, like a spoiled queen, when she doesn’t like it. Just today I gave her a plate of chickpeas and (to my shame) a carrot, broccoli, and celery were mixed in with it. When seeing them, she picked them out, one at a time, and threw them on the floor while saying, “Ew! Ew! Ew!” It’s my goal, as her mother, to guide her into civilized behavior while doing my best not to squash her spirited nature.

I attended the child-birthing classes. I knew how to breathe. I read every book on giving birth ever printed. But I was totally unprepared for what I call "The Incident," which was a horrifying event that took place in the delivery room.

Just like kids who kick the seat in front of them and middle-aged women who get drunk and chatty on long flights, crying babies are a fact of life.

A human being does not go through an experience like that without getting to know themselves really, really, well. I learned more about myself than I could have ever imagined. Today, I am going to share some of those lessons with you.