Culture

The further I get into this series, the harder time I am having remembering what the eff has happened so far. You see, I am an Old Lady.

It is the denigrating soundtrack of a breast pumping session. You, sitting at its mercy. It, just taking and taking.

Being millennials, we seem to have a creative spirit and entrepreneurial drive to do things on our own. Whether it’s the people you're working with or the big ideas that are brewing in the back of your mind, if you are feeling the “start your own business itch,” then it’s time to scratch it — even if you only work on the weekends until you get things up and running. Believe it or not, there are some easy ways to start your own business and get things moving in the right direction for yourself.

By now, almost everyone who follows news about trendy Hollywood films geared towards making that particular Oscar-worthy buzz have heard of the film The Danish Girl, an historical biopic based upon the life of Lili Elbe, one of the first recipients of gender confirmation surgery.

Next, juice your blood oranges. Or skip this and buy the juice from the spendy little corner market that sells $8 fair trade chocolate made from cocoa beans harvested purely through meditative thoughts generated by unionized zen monkeys in Thailand. They also sell blood orange juice. You’ll find it next to the $15 cashew milk.

Certainly, physical changes are imminent. A rational brain knows this. It all started with chin hairs. I awoke one day and my single, adorable chin hair I’ve had since college multiplied like gremlins. I look like a billygoat. Have you any idea the amount of time I spend a week on chin hair maintenance? Every time my husband walks into the bathroom, I am sitting propped on the counter, magnifying mirror in one hand and tweezers in the other. Or as we like to call it: foreplay.

Help. Me. Please. And by help me, I mean, bring me my jumbo size jar of

I’d rather do anything than talk to cab drivers (or hair dressers, or bus seat mates or… anyone). I hate small talk. I put in my earbuds and I give short polite answers when necessary.