Culture

Remember this one time in savasana that the teacher had us visualize all the negative energy in our lives being squeezed out the soles of our feet like a bad vibes garlic press. Imagine my boss’ words as a brown ooze squeezing out of my feet. Imagery is gross but deeply comforting.

Underpants are how you dress your CLITORIS! Your clitoris desires something fancy, don’t you think? Something soft and slinky or lacy and feminine or red and racy.

Yes, it may still be 2015, but due to political and societal realities, presidential elections start early — like, stupidly early. Here’s the rundown on what to look for in your future POTUS.

The hell with his elaborate metaphors and rhetorical phrases. Iambic pentameter is cruel and unusual punishment.

Dark brown girls should never ever ever ever EVER wear frosty pink lipstick. EVER. I don’t give a rat’s ASS what Cosmo says - just NO.

When I tell people that I keep a box of tampons on my desk at work, they are either surprised or they want to know why. As if keeping a box of tampons on my desk is any different than the box of Scooby-Doo Band-Aids or the bulk candy I keep on there as well.

35: Percentage of “normal dieters” who progress to pathological dieting

"We built a luxury dream home but can only afford to have two children."