social media

Despite conservative fears, when many people picture what “marriage” is, marriages like mine simply aren’t a part of it. Image: Thinkstock.

I Challenge You To Love Your Spouse — As Long As He's A Heterosexual Man.

I expected it was only a matter of time until someone sent it my way. I mean... friends have even called my relationship with my wife “inspirational.” [...] [O]nce I noticed that I still hadn’t been invited, I started to notice something else: Everyone that I saw posting “love your spouse” pictures was straight....

Read...
"Our mental illnesses are not a substitute for your bland personality, nor are they buzzwords you can use because they sound more interesting than saying you’re a 'neat freak.'" Image: Thinkstock

Saying “Bipolar” And “OCD” Casually Doesn't Make You Quirky Or Edgy

I’m about to be in the midst of a depressive episode. At times like these, I’ve learned to take a step back from social media. While I do ultimately believe social media is a force for good, a means through which we can connect to, learn more about, and inform one another, there’s a real problem with how mental illness is portrayed there.

Read...
"I spent quite a few of my preteen and early teen years enjoying taking pictures. But because of the combination of racism, fat antagonism, and lookism, I wasn’t always comfortable getting in front of the camera." Image: Thinkstock

The Right To Be Ugly: How Lookism Affects My Ability To Be Carefree

[W]hy must the acknowledgment of my beauty be predicated on how well and how often I contort to attempt to fit into some kind of ideal? Why can’t I be all the iterations of me and still be beautiful?

Read...
Social media notoriously gives its users the opportunity to present their lives as perfect and conflict-free. Image: Thinkstock.

My Friend's Instagram Post About Her Miscarriage Changed How I See Social Media

I scrolled through my Instagram feed to catch a photo of a friend’s first tattoo. It was an abstract design that paid homage to her wedding venue, a distinctive historic site in her home state. The tattoo seemed sweet at first, but then I read the photo caption. My friend had gotten inked to honor the child she lost in miscarriage.

Read...
You shouldn’t pursue self-love and better self-esteem because you want to feel worthy of being loved someday — you should pursue self-love because you deserve to love yourself. Image: Drew Coffman/Unsplash.

'Nobody Can Love You Until You Love Yourself' Is Bullsh*t

There is a danger in the rise of affirmations and other empowering online content. Some types of affirmations aim to inspire a sense of independence, but in reality only invalidate the struggles of the person who reads them.

Read...
It’s not enough to simply declare you aren’t a racist. Anti-racism is an active force seeking to unlearn, decolonize and restructure. Image: author.

Can The 'Angry Black Guy' Have White Friends?

It’s easy for folks in America to get angry but it’s incredibly difficult to get them to stay angry. To transfer anger to hope. And to participate in transformation. Then to start all over again with the next hashtag.

Read...
We’re still the same people we always were. Image: Thinkstock.

6 Things All Parents Want Their Childfree Friends To Understand

Yes, a lot of parents are assholes. But you know what? A lot of people are assholes; some of them happen to have kids, some don’t. I can’t speak for all parents, and I wouldn’t want to try. But speaking as one particular person with kids, here’s what I wish my childfree friends would understand…

Read...
"After five minutes of show-and-tell instructions, some changes to my settings, and a little strategic screen-tapping, I was enlightened to the possibilities." Image: author

Joining Snapchat In Your 30s And Other Clues You're Bad At Being A Millennial

Having been born in 1982, I qualify as a member of the millennial generation, but just by a hair. Often, I feel like an old lady, sometimes the last to catch on to to the fads claimed by this group — and when I do, I fall hard. (I’m looking at you, leggings-as-pants.)

Read...