postpartum depression

Getting pregnant after postpartum depression may have stolen a lot from me, but it gave me a lot more.

You know that annoying friend who loves to vaguebook about the woes in her life or is always complaining on social media about how her kids are destroying her home and mental health? Super annoying, right? Well, that was me — every damn day, for years.

I’m not saying there is no joy to motherhood. I go through periods where I do feel like I’m at my parenting best. There are times when I’m overwhelmed with gratitude for the amazing life and children I’ve been given. It can be so, so good. But what I’m saying is, it doesn’t always have to feel like that.

Margot had struggled long and hard, she admitted, and I instantly let her know that I could relate. I didn’t want her to feel vulnerable or alone, but more than that, it was true.

I know of people who find one child incredibly challenging and seem to hate the whole experience. And yet they proceed to have another child willingly.

I wonder about these decisions. For me, I would be a terrible mother if I had another child.

There is nothing in the world that quite compares to the joyous feeling of bringing a new baby home.

My daughter was just reaching her first birthday before the dense fog of postpartum depression started to lift off of me. I didn’t realize it right away, though – and I certainly hadn’t even realized I was suffering from PPD at all.

CN: mention of postpartum depression/suicidality. Generally, in my experience, people often get so excited about a new baby, that they forget that postpartum women need doting on, too.