Culture

6. Light-up crap: Illuminated pig? Obviously. For a mere $45 you can deck your lawn with this Tinsel Pig and a number of other forest/farm animals/snowmen/pretty much anything you can think of. First you shell out your hard earned dollars, then you try to find a place to store your pig/fox/snowman/Santa when it’s not December. Best wishes.

Studies have shown that teaching kids the actual terms for their private parts — instead of cutesy nicknames — decreases their chances of being targeted by a sexual predator. Their words are their weapon, whether they know it or not.

“Well, then I guess there’s no God.” 

Buoyed by the positive experiences of several acquaintances, I decided to explore whether my pain might be alleviated by channeling my chi. (Ok, full disclosure: I didn’t know exactly what “chi” was, but I was nonetheless willing to have mine professionally evaluated.)

The market was high, we were starting to panic and all five of us (including a teething 6-month-old baby) were bunking with our in-laws. It’s fair to say I wasn’t exactly thinking straight.

While we can't control the range of feelings we may have during this time, we can make sure that we show ourselves the kind of love and care that we deserve.

While we can't control the range of feelings we may have during this time, we can make sure that we show ourselves the kind of love and care that we deserve.

So, what do you do when you make something that looks a mess but tastes like the Virgin Mary give birth in your mouth? You add more sugar and salt to hide its minor imperfections and nobody gives a damn how it looks after the first bite.