shopping

As a forty-something mom, I rarely shop at Urban Outfitters anymore; I suppose I’ve graduated up to their sister brand, Anthropologie, w

When I help people clean out their wardrobes, the items I come across that hang in the back closet never seeing the light of day are usually pieces purchased in a frenzy — out of necessity instead of joy.

A week or so ago I started shopping for a wedding dress, and guess what? Shopping for a wedding dress sucks!

Although the hunt for the perfect outfit at the thrift store was a thrill when I was thin, as a fat person, the hunt was just downright depressing.

Size, like age and salary and whatever else, is just a number. Pretending numbers don’t measure things isn’t helpful. I’m 38 years old: That isn’t good or bad, but it IS different from being 18 or 50.

When you’re helping people zip up dresses and watching their reactions to certain items of clothing, you start noticing patterns. Here are four of the phrases I hear most often in the dressing room, and how I wish — oh, how I wish! — I could respond.

While the Supreme Court deliberated Hobby Lobby’s 2013 case against Obamacare, I took to social media to stoically announce: “I’m never shopping at Hob Lob again.” But I did. Over time, Hobby Lobby lured me back into its Jesus-loving automatic sliding doors. It wasn’t the weekly 40% off coupon that got me — it was the goddamn specific products that I repeatedly purchase as an artist. (I’m thinking about you, florescent paint.)

As much as I love the holidays, there are a lot of chores and errands this time of year requires that are, let’s say, less than fun.