relationship advice

I went on a date last week. We had drinks, we chatted — an overall good night. At the end he asked me, “Do you want to go somewhere?” I said “sure,” thinking it was just a walk.

Harmony and passion are the Holy Grails of relationship. Whenever we see a romantic movie or read a love story, we are given a wonderfully arrayed glimpse of how intoxicating and vibrant a life of good love can be.

We met in what used to be considered a non-traditional manner: a dating website. This website is known for bringing together people who are looking for a serious commitment rather than the hookup apps our peers use. We both met our exes there, so we knew it would work, and we both hoped we would meet our spouses.

Shoulding on our partners will not fill our needs. So these statements won’t help: “You should come home when you say you will!” “You should stop spending all our money!” “You should pay attention to what I say!” “You should treat me better!”

Is your relationship jeopardized by double standards? Big or small, they can threaten the health of a relationship. By learning to recognize the signs, the risk can be reduced. Then you can take action to eliminate them.

As mentioned in previous articles, every adult has a Sexual Operating System (S.O.S.) that has an enormous impact on the quality and longevity of their intimate relationships. For most people this is a largely unconscious influence that, if left unchecked, practically dooms every relationship to eventual failure.

Forget everything you ever learned about sex. Whether perched stiffly in the classroom as your teacher prattled on about the finer points of copulation, listening incredulously to the stories your friends told in adolescence, or gleaning inferences from novels, television shows, or movies. There’s only one secret to fireworks in the bedroom.

Regardless of how close you may feel with your love, until you and your partner have gone through these seven major events, you are circling the periphery of really learning each other.