Love

Honoring my feelings and being true to myself are just as important to me as being critical of the ways that a multiply-oppressive society manifests itself in the way I date, love, and desire.

I want my child to be able to self-determine. What that means to me is that they know they have options besides the “default” one that’s plastered all over their TV screens, and that they always know that.

[CN: ageism, sexism] What kind of screwed-up culture do we live in where young girls are considered to be sexual beings, but women over 40 are “too old” to be desirable?

Once I became a body positive writer and speaker, I told the story of that night on podcasts and in interviews as an example of the sort of reaction I was afraid of prior to my video about my excess skin going viral. Every time, the interviewer made a comment about how Dana was “the ugly one,” not me. And every time, I told them I didn’t want her to be vilified or insulted.

[CN: emotional abuse and gaslighting, description of sexual assault.] As a three-time survivor of intimate partner violence, I hate what he did to me, but I don't hate the person with whom I fell in love — not even a little bit. My love for him will always exist.

They are different humans — and I love them for who they each are, as individuals.

Dear Erin, I am at a crossroads in a 3-year relationship... Last year got rough. My partner stopped seeing friends, drank heavily, and showed other signs of depression/stress. Our awesome and abundant sex life? Gone.