loss

Photo by Valentina Locatelli on Unsplash

Interior Designs: How Home Shapes Us

I wasn’t expecting to have a visceral response to observing someone I hardly knew do home renovations.

Read...
Photo by Kat J on Unsplash

My Mother Is Alive And I Mourn Her Every Day

The truth is, I have no idea where she is. I don’t even know if my mother is alive. I haven’t spoken to my mother for eight years.

Read...
I had retrieved at least one constant in my mother’s life: her love of puzzles and word games.

Finding My Unsolvable Mother In Her Left-Behind Crossword Puzzles​

Looking at her left-behind crossword puzzles, I had retrieved at least one constant in my mother’s life: her love of puzzles and word games.

Read...
Photo by Steve Shreve on Unsplash

Getting Through My First Year Without A Dad

Last April, my dad died two days before his 58 birthday after struggling with Huntington's Disease for over a decade. This is my first year without a dad.

Read...
Photo by Cristian Newman on Unsplash

Navigating The Delusions Of A Loved One

After my mother’s suicide in 2009, I was left with a gnawing sense of guilt. My mother had suffered from an undiagnosed delusional disorder.

Read...
Photo by Matt Hoffman on Unsplash

The Quiet Violence At The Heart Of Motherhood 

From the beginning, mothering and being mothered are both brutal. One day you’ll hurt your mom, I thought. And she’ll hurt you, somehow, without knowing it.

Read...
Is it okay to mourn the child that never was?

I Was Pregnant With Twins But Delivered One Baby​

Is it okay to mourn the child that never was? That seeped into my blood without my even noticing? I only delivered one baby but I was pregnant with two.

Read...
It was the night before my father’s funeral that I finally asked the tarot for help.

Using Tarot To Work Through Trauma

It was the night before my father’s funeral that I finally asked the tarot for help. I was incapable of imagining a future where I delivered his eulogy.

Read...