femme

One of the things I have done for myself in adulthood as part of my healing process is make a strong claim to fatness femininity.

Right now, on Facebook and Twitter and other social media platforms, thousands of women are freely sharing knowledge, opinions, and personal experiences. Chilling, isn’t it? If you’re a man on the internet, your duty is to swiftly and decisively correct them. This is a beginner’s guide to mansplaining on Facebook.

When we assume women are younger, we associate their youth with their lack of life experiences. Particularly in a workplace environment, the assumption that a female colleague looks younger wrongfully and negatively reflects on their professional experience, even though they likely worked harder than their male counterparts to get there.

Volume down low, remote controller gripped tightly, I watched The L Word as an act of rebellion.

I understand that a lot, if not all, of the incredulity at the femmes who fancy themselves up is veiled insecurity about alternative forms of self-expression. But I hereby solemnly swear that I do not and have never viewed my female friends who choose the path of fewer accessories as lacking in feminine graces. There are so many ways to be a woman. I feel like that’s so essential that it should be a mantra, a giant blazing sign in the sky: There are so many ways to be a woman.

I understand that a lot, if not all, of the incredulity at the femmes who fancy themselves up is veiled insecurity about alternative forms of self-expression. But I hereby solemnly swear that I do not and have never viewed my female friends who choose the path of fewer accessories as lacking in feminine graces. There are so many ways to be a woman. I feel like that’s so essential that it should be a mantra, a giant blazing sign in the sky: There are so many ways to be a woman.

I vividly recall standing in front of the bathroom mirror looking at myself as I’d done countless times as a childless person. As myself. As the woman I’d always been until days before. It was like stumbling upon an identical twin I never knew I had — the same, so well-known, yet so alien and unfamiliar.

There is still such a stigma associated with being ultra feminine from both men and women in our society...and it’s stupid.