addiction

When I found out I was pregnant, I reluctantly made the choice to stay clean. I doubted my decision (both to have this baby and to stay sober) the entire pregnancy and was unsure of how I would feel or what I would do when my child was born. Everyone around me was unsure, too. My parents discussed contingency plans with my son’s father for when — not if — I relapsed. But I didn't.

I stared at the picture of her sitting in the courtroom sobbing; I read the news stories, and I cried, too. As a sexual assault survivor myself, I felt a lot of things in that moment. Above all, the ruling was a reminder to me that, as a woman, I do not matter. Not in the eyes of society, not in the eyes of the law. It was a reminder that I do not deserve safety, nor will I be guaranteed it. It was a reminder that my body is not mine, and it never has been.

I don’t know where you are — if you are ok, if you have food, shelter, love. I don’t know what you look like now.

I’m afraid I’m going to lose my wife to AA. My wife and I are both in our mid 30s and we’ve been married for six years, together for nine. When we met, we both drank socially, or I thought we did. I started noticing after we got married that her drinking increased.

Former Stone Temple Pilots and Velvet Revolver frontman Scott Weiland's death made headlines but his ex-wife cautions the world against glorifying the addiction that stole his life.

I’m lucky because I got sober at my second AA meeting. After my first meeting, I ran home and drank for five days straight.

There was nothing easy about recovery, but it helped that living the trainwreck lifestyle had stripped me of everything. Within sixteen months, I was unemployed with no job prospects, barely scraping through my last semester at school. I was drinking every day. Sex with classmates had led to casual encounters which bottomed out at trading sex for cash, something I spent a whole lot of time justifying.

Bring something that makes you feel safe. I brought my blankie. It was so comforting to be able to go up to my room after a terrible day of being in immense emotional pain and curl up with my blanket.