Sex + Love

As someone who has been through her fair share of codependent relationships, and has coached and mediated numerous clients out of and onward from codependent relationships of their own, I have spent significant time educating myself further on the concept of codependency.

You might not know the truth even as you’re living it. Each day passes into the next and you remain oblivious, always living and trying your hardest with the kernel of fear in your heart. Maybe you’ve gotten used to ignoring it, this dread as it picks at you, boring into you.

I’m one half of what you may call an “interracial couple,” and even though we live in a multicultural area, the reactions and comments we get constantly surprise me.

In the past four months, I’ve undergone a veritable dating hurricane. I ran out on my 10-month-old marriage in August. I texted my decision and departure to my closest friends, live-tweeted my flight from upstate New York to the New Hampshire seacoast, and have written extensively and publicly about separation, my estranged husband, and the terrors of emotional pain ever since.

For the first time in 17 or so years, there was nothing on my ring finger. I put them in safe place — an empty Pears soap box under the bathroom sink — and went out into the world with completely naked digits.

"There's a young man in your life, he has dark hair and he's very important to you." The tarot card reader glanced up at me with her chin still pointed down toward the cards. "Yes," I said. "Yes there is." My heart began beating faster in my chest.

Also, dudes: The size of your dick is almost completely irrelevant.

What makes you feel sexy? If it’s being naked, then that’s fabulous!!