Families

Nothing felt overwhelming. Not the initial cracked nipples or sleepless nights; not the constant babywearing or lullaby-singing; not the occasional cravings or muscle aches. Through hormonal changes and physical transformations (muffin top and lopsided breasts included), there was always her constant reassuring presence. She made it all worthwhile.

[CN: Toxic parents] I am a big fan of inappropriate humor (especially when said humor is tinged with sarcasm), and I’m an even bigger fan of using comedy to deal with life’s ugliness. But when the humor is at the expense of someone unknowing and innocent, like a child, I no longer consider it funny.

I’m not saying having children doesn’t change things. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t reevaluate our life choices as we build our families. What I AM saying is that we must stop hinting to cisgender women that once they’ve had kids, their lives are laid out for them.

Every one of those “such a boy” comments make me hurt for all the other kids who hear these comments every day. Because of the many, many kids who cannot so easily hide the parts of themselves that don’t garner instant approval, knowing looks, happy eye-rolls. Because the culture that celebrates my son’s love of trucks and refuses to acknowledge his love of princesses is the same culture that shames and isolates trans and gender non-conforming kids every day.

I am still a very spiritual person, but don’t necessarily agree with a lot of the things I was taught growing up — or the way it was shoved down our throats. So when Branden came along, we decided not to baptize him, because I just didn’t believe our sweet baby was born in sin. My husband wasn’t religious, and this was the right choice for us.

In my work as an entertainment writer, some of the easiest stories are the post-baby body reveals. You know the type: “Within three days of delivery, Celebrity Person shed any trace her womb housing a growing baby for the past 10 months! Look at those abs!”

I wouldn’t say I’m the black sheep of the family, but I’m pretty sure my mom isn't surprised that some of the choices I’ve made in raising my son have been a little different from the way she did things. My mom gave us all she could. She stayed home to raise my sister and me for most of our childhood; she only returned to work to help put us through college.

I’m not a fan of repeating things over and over so that they lose their meaning. "Pledge: a solemn promise or agreement." It is that extra level, the solemnity, that makes me uncomfortable with casual usage.