Come on, who could live through the '90s and not fall in love with Mariah Carey's epic five-octave voice? Earlier this morning, Mimi put her talents on full display during a performance of her blissfully catchy tune "Always By My Baby" on Today. This wasn't just for kicks—today, May 16th, actually marks the 18th anniversary of this song reaching #1. How sweet!
What an awesome, romantic—oh wait a minute, "Always Be My Baby" is acually one of the ultimate stalker jams of all time (following "Every Breath You Take" by The Police, of course).
It starts out innocently:
We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine
Now you wanna be free
So I'm letting you fly
OK, cool. Very mature of you, Mariah. Then we skip to the chorus:
You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Boy don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling 'cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling 'cause you'll always be my baby
Wait, what? "No way you're never gonna shake me?" Illogical double negatives aside, Mariah is clearly stalking the poor guy. Maybe he doesn't want to be your baby indefinitely Mariah—didn't your mom teach you that part of loving someone is letting that person go?
Also: "You can't escape me"? Did she lock him up somewhere? Is there, at this moment, a scared man trapped in a basement full of glitter, butterflies and '90s rap paraphernalia?
Then, Mariah assumes the feelings are mutual:
I know that you'll be back boy
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder
I know that you'll be right back baby
Oh baby believe me it's only a matter of time
Actually honey, he probably won't be back. Restraining orders pretty much forbid that.
Image: Sing it, don't stalk it. Courtesy of, Wikimedia Commons
