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Homosapian men, bend a knee.

A washed-up actor looking for a comeback on the stage. A civil rights pioneer. A scientific genius with a deteriorating body.

Tu madre es loco! 

If you used Google Translate, you'd know I just insulted your family. 

Forget the Oscars. The real awards show to watch is the Razzies, "honoring" the year's most soul-crushing films of the year.

Dear small-minded bigots of the world: Don't mess with Ellen DeGeneres.

In between writing mega-hit jams and kissing off a media obsessed with her dating exploits, Taylor Swift is reportedly an awesome human being.

I present: the only facet of the holidays I can't get enough of.

Reminder: There's a big difference between Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton.