expectations

This article first appeared on Divorced Moms and has been republished with permission.

Emily Cowen, a musical artist I enjoy sings, “Even though we just met, these feelings are so beautiful, you and me were meant to be together.” And that is where “love” songs get love wrong. You’ve just met, the feelings are beautiful so, goodness gracious, you must be meant to be together.

Wrong!

Long-lasting marriages and relationships aren’t based on beautiful feelings. They thrive because of compatibility and the unique differences both genders bring to the relationship and how well each can resolve conflict.

How can I know the difference between having high standards and unrealistic expectations in relationships? Where do I draw the line?

Be careful what you wish for because at eight years old my son is exactly like his father in this aspect. I'm now raising an outgoing kid and I'm reserved.

Up until a couple of weeks ago, I was a 23-year-old who had never been on a date.

Chances are you are doing something that you’re not necessarily aware of that is screwing up your relationships. It’s causing you a lot of pain and discourse with your significant other. This “thing” is the source of nearly every argument, it’s the germination of all resentments, and it ultimately leaves you disconnected with the one you love. The one thing you and I do to screw up our relationships is…we have expectations.

It’s amazing that I could learn more about the flawed inner workings of my love life in a weekend than in 10 years of dating.

About 60% of adults have engaged in a tumultuous romance like that of Ross and Rachel. We're here to give you some tough love.