ED recovery

This week is baking week. No, not nationally or anything, but in my house, this week is the week all the things are made.

Looking at this humble gift created by my fourth child, the one I waited 10 years for, I am grateful, tearful. She has drawn me, her mother. And other than having a really big head, I just look like a person. I’m wearing a dress. I have two arms and legs, five fingers on each hand (a surprisingly short thumb, however). My hairstyle is questionable, but all in all, I just look like a person.

Deciding that I needed — wanted, even — to put myself, my emotional, mental, physical, health first, didn’t mean not loving my body. But it did mean that my body would probably need to change to be more agile, more functional.

The origin and implementation of the trigger warning is new-ish, showing up on the tumblr scene regularly around 2007. Born out of feminist blogging, the trigger warning was ostensibly put into practice to protect those who may find a specific topic to be “triggering” — most commonly sexual/physical abuse and/or eating disorders. I deeply respect the people whose experiences may warrant a trigger warning (including myself), and yet, I question the effectiveness of the practice.

Not everyone who has had an eating disorder also has an issue with perfectionism, but the two are often linked: A persistent feeling of never being “good enough” and needing to do something — anything — to feel under control is a warning sign that a person might be susceptible to an eating disorder.

I can already tell that you’re a good partner. The fact that you’re asking about this and reading this article proves that. So remind your partner that they’re a good partner, too — exactly what you need and want and love, body and all.

I finally looked at my syllabus today. It’s been sitting in my inbox for over a week, flashing at me to find out what I have to look forward to this upcoming fall semester – which books I need to buy (and how much money I’m going to drop on them), how many assignments I’ll be graded on, what I need to have prepared before our first class meeting.

Body neutrality is having hot sex with your partner and never overthinking the way that your ass smacks against their thighs. It’s not being embarrassed that you have fat on your body that is affected both by gravity and inertia, nor necessarily feeling sexier because you have fat on your body that is affected both by gravity and inertia. It’s enjoying that moment of intimacy, being comfortable in your body.