Boys

When our boy was a toddler his emotional outbursts only received quick glances. Now that my five-year-old has officially entered boyhood, his crying looks awkward on him; he gets full-on stares.

I'm giving my son dolls that look like actual people. He has no idea that they are revolutionary or how different they are from the dolls I grew up with.

As a mother of boys, I find this trend disturbing. Yes, we need to build up our girls. We need to empower them and teach them that they are capable and viable and powerful — that they are smart and that they matter. But we cannot devalue our boys in the process.

Every one of those “such a boy” comments make me hurt for all the other kids who hear these comments every day. Because of the many, many kids who cannot so easily hide the parts of themselves that don’t garner instant approval, knowing looks, happy eye-rolls. Because the culture that celebrates my son’s love of trucks and refuses to acknowledge his love of princesses is the same culture that shames and isolates trans and gender non-conforming kids every day.

I’m spelling them out here so that other parents can talk about them and other boys can see that there isn’t just one way to become a good man.