bipolar

My mother had her first psychotic episode on her 40th birthday. As her birthday bash extended into its fourth day of drunken celebrations, it became apparent that something wasn’t right. I was 11 years old at the time and from then on, our lives were ruled by my mother’s rapid-cycling bipolar I disorder.

I worry so much with every mood episode, with every burst of rage, every down day, every fit of tears that I am scarring my children. I worry that I am causing them irreparable emotional harm. You see, my children are young. They do not fully comprehend that their mother has a chronic mental illness.

I recalled being told to sit tight in the day room all day and behave in lieu of walking peacefully to get some exercise and stretch my legs. I recalled fighting with staff over all-encompassing body wash products that were making my hair fall out. It was an argument to be allowed to wear a ponytail.

The symptoms of borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder can often overlap. Understanding the difference is a first step in getting proper care for them and yourself, and being able to better relate to each other.