assholes

The first tenet is absolutely no flirting. You don’t scare away a guy by showing him that a fat girl dares to think she has a chance with him.

Her birth turned my life upside down in the very best way a tiny human can; and through her, I’ve learned some of the most profound life lessons.
By “profound lessons,” I mean, “I have fucked up a lot of times.”

They don’t care about you. As long as you are meeting their ransom demands, the rest of your life is irrelevant.

You really can feel guilty about everydamnthing. Here are the cold hard facts: You are going to screw up. It’s happening. You might actually screw up pretty hard.