Pia Schiavo-Campo

You know, I really want to not be writing about this in five years. I hope there won’t be a need.

"Taking on a culture is one thing. But taking on a phenotype in the name of solidarity is perverse."

I am a woman of color, and when I first read the article, it made me think of the white women I know who exclusively date black men. And so Tess's comment, “I do admit that black men love me. I always forget that, and then I come to a black neighborhood and I remember,” was not a surprise to me. I know many black men who will date fat white women, but not fat women of color, which I find problematic. It's just one of many symptoms of internalized racism, which I'll get into another time.

This is perhaps one of the things I treasure most about our marriage. We love spending time together, but we also both crave solitude now and again. We allow each other to have the space to decompress after a long day or to explore a budding hobby. When he’s tinkering in the garage listening to The Clash, I might be upstairs writing a blog post and burning incense.