Lara N. Dotson-Renta, PhD

My heart dropped a bit, and I struggled with what to say. Tae Kwon Do class had always been a safe space for her; a place where her confidence thrived and the teachers encouraged her to reach her full potential. She beamed when she sparred, and counted out the stripes on her belts with glee. Yet here she was, just six years old, the only girl in the day’s class, quieting herself to appease a handful of boys during warm-ups.

I am not black, but I too­ — am tired. As a person of color in this country, from a background that may not scream Rockwell and apple pie, I am tired of explaining and trying to coherently lay out what it is to be the “other” to people who have not had the experience of having a background story, and destiny written for and about you ‑ before you are ever met.

What is success? How do I define it now, and is it constitutive of or separate from happiness?