Kathryn Hively

In case you’re curious — or fear you may be old — here are a few moments that helped me realize the truth about my oldness.

I’m not exactly sure how to take this. Is being thin a consolation prize for being sick?

I quit my job to become a stay-at-home mom. I do not tell my girls how many rooms I vacuumed, but I do tell them about my writing. Am I failing feminism?

Metoo parenting is teaching my daughters that they have control of their body. They have a voice. There are now real consequences for those who abuse power.

While I appreciate knowing the correct fork for any situation, my mother’s relationship advice can basically be summed up as this: “There are girls who marry and girls who date. You’re a girl who marries.” (In Mom’s defense, I was a late bloomer. Since no one wanted to date me, this advice was also a form of encouragement.) Dad’s advice was a bit more literal and involved an imaginary quarter that should be held between your knees at all times. Seriously, I couldn’t make this up if I tried. So, I’ve compiled a supplemental list of tips for my daughters, more in line with the confident, sex-positive women I want them to be. I intend to shove these inside my hand-me-down copy of Pretty Me because, after all, knowing proper cutlery never hurt anyone.

I would never imply that someone needs to be married or heterosexual to be stronger, feminist or otherwise.