Erin Khar

She’s made all the mistakes, so you don’t have to.

"Because you acted like a stupid bitch." That’s what it says on the paper, the tiny piece of paper, or maybe envelope or napkin that I found in the box of old letters I keep stashed in my closet. I stare at the words and read them out loud, in hopes that the action will shake loose the memory. Nothing.

I just had a long-distance relationship abruptly end. I have had relationships end abruptly before and sometimes painfully, but this recent one was different.

We both want to make it an ongoing thing with this particular guy and he was also open. The problem is, when we were at the bar he showed us a picture on his phone, from a social media page. We looked him up later to add him, and he is engaged!

He’s pretty much exactly the kind of guy with whom I would want a long-term relationship. At least, that’s how I was feeling until yesterday, when he posted a picture of himself and some girl on Instagram, saying that he was so happy to be in love and celebrating his TWO-YEAR ANNIVERSARY with her!

As I began to heal, I realized that I had neglected to fully appreciate the grief those closest to me carried. I’m talking about my husband. And my son. And our parents. And our closest friends. Their bereavement was undeniable, yet it took me a moment to acknowledge that it was there.

She’s made all the mistakes, so you don’t have to…Ask Erin is a weekly advice column, in which Erin answers your burning questions about anything at all.

She’s made all the mistakes, so you don’t have to…Ask Erin is a weekly advice column, in which Erin answers your burning questions about anything at all.

On Sunday, my husband was in the shower. He left his phone on our bed, which he never does. It lit up with a text from “S.” That’s the name that popped up, “S.” Something about it bothered me. Before I had time to think about it, I was typing in his password, which he has never changed, and read the text which was explicit and made it clear that this person, S, had not only seen my husband’s penis, but had done things with it.

She’s made all the mistakes, so you don’t have to… Ask Erin is a weekly advice column, in which Erin answers your burning questions about anyt