Everyone loves dolphins!
Do we REALLY need a Justin Bieber vibrator?
The world is a strange and wonderful place. And nothing is a true testament to just how bizarre things can get than if you look at the wide and wild selection of vibrators out there.
Society may have been shaken to its core when the Rabbit was invented, but that was nothing compared to the Gaga Vibrator. Why? Because the Gaga offers something the Rabbit can't: a camera on the end so you can get an up close view of vag. Svakom, which calls itself "the world's leader in intelligent intimate lifestyle products" is the sex toy company we have to thank for this gem. Oh, there's even a video. Yes, you want to watch the video.
Personally, I have zero interest in inserting a vibrating camera, with a light on the end of course, into my vagina so I can watch my insides on my laptop, but maybe I'm just getting boring in my old age. If that's the case, then I'm sorry self. We did have a good run though.
If playing amateur gynecologist isn't your cup of tea, then you may want to skip the Gaga.
But if you're into some weird and wild stuff, then maybe these WTF vibrators are for you:
1. Cornbrator
Don't live on a farm, but have hot fantasies of shucking some corn? No worries! With the Cornbrator, you can reach orgasm thanks to a corn-on-the-cob shaped vibrator. I don't know what's creepier: the fact that it has the term “sexual harassment” or “hyper wank device” on the package.
2. Middle Finger Vibe
I feel like this particular vibrator is ideal for that New York F*cking City mentality. How else do you spread the love if not with your middle finger in the air? That aside, this particular sex toy really does give new meaning to the word 'fingerbang.'
3. Justin Bieber Vibrator
I'm still really confused by this whole 3-D printing thing, but my confusion is neither here nor there. For those of you who think sex and the Biebs go together as well as peanut butter and jelly, then the Justin Bieber Vibrator is for you. Oh, poor you.
4. Death By Orgasm: 10 Speed Scorpion Bullet Vibrator
So, it's a vibrator shaped like a scorpion: an evil, scary creature with a venomous stinger for a tail. Is that really something you want near your lady bits? OK. Have fun with that, because I. Can't. Even. (And you shouldn't either.)
5. Diving Dolphin Stimulator
I don't think I'm wrong when I say this thing is weird. I mean, it's not just weird, but like... HOW DOES IT WORK? Either way, it's one of those couple sex toys that you both get to use at the same time! And it's less than $20! And everyone loves dolphins!
6. Jackhammer Jesus
Dear god (no pun intended), but dear god! From the Jackhammer Jesus to Baby Jesus to Virgin Mary to the Bible, Divine Interventions has the vibrator for the Believer in all of us. And Catholics say self-pleasure is a sin. Pfft! I beg to differ.
7. Cat Paw Myah Pussy Vibrator
So, I guess this one is for the animal lovers out there? Because who doesn't want to have a furry pink paw vibrator against their clit? Yeah... that's it.
8. Bad Vibes Talking Vibrator
You know what you've always wanted? A vibrator programmed to insult you about not having a “real man” — among other things, of course! And because insults and being told by your vibrator that it's “got a headache” isn't enough, it says it all with a freakish face painted on it. It's definitely the perfect gift for your friend who just refuses to give up their love for Insane Clown Posse.
This article originally appeared on Your Tango. More from Your Tango:
