Will Smith Has A New Single And It Is So Bad

Will Smith made me cry.

Will Smith made me cry.

Today in People That Will Always Bring Joy (Except For That Part Where They Are Scientologists), Will Mother Effing Smith.

Willard Carroll Smith Jr. and I go way back. All the way to 1990. Will is six years older than me but that didn't matter in 1990 because he was playing a guy in high school and I happened to actually be in high school.

It started with the Fresh Prince, and my love for Will only grew. 

So I was in the car with my son, Sean (on the way to the psychiatrist, as you do), and I was like, "What should we listen to? You know what, we should listen to Will Smith?"

I went to Spotify and DAMMIT IF HE DOESN'T HAVE A NEW SINGLE that JUST CAME OUT. 

This is the second time this has happened to me. A few months ago I was feeling really nostalgic for some Sublime. I was thinking, "Why do so many awesome singers OD? That sucks."

I went to Spotify and guess what? SUBLIME HAD A NEW ALBUM OUT. THAT DAY. It's not the same singer though, because of the OD thing. But the guy sounds exactly the same and I just had a real good cry in the car because I'm hormonal like that. 

(Also I think I have some kind of psychic power of manifestation.)

Back to Big Willie. New single. I almost cried. I was like thisclose. It even features DJ Jazzy Jeff. This is going to be like 2000 all over I am so here for it.

So I played it. It's called "Get Lit." Sounds promising.

NOPE. 

IT IS EDM. 

 

If you like this trash, I am going to need you to submit proof of your age.

It is ATROCIOUS.

Will, Baby Boy, why did you do me dirty like this?

I was expecting "Big Willie Style," "Miami," I would have even accepted "Men In Black." You give me this mess? 

First it was Scientology and now THIS. I have been a faithful fan for many many years. I don't think it's too much to ask that if you're going to produce new music that it is not shite. 


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