Voices

I’m not straight, but I often feel like a queer outsider. And I know I’m not the only one. Just a few days prior to the shooting, a fellow queer mama who is also married to a man came out on Facebook to let the world know that just because she is with a man doesn’t make her any less queer.

I’m not straight, but I often feel like a queer outsider. And I know I’m not the only one. Just a few days prior to the shooting, a fellow queer mama who is also married to a man came out on Facebook to let the world know that just because she is with a man doesn’t make her any less queer.

For more than 20 years, I believed I was a slut. A shameful, vile, one-time slut, but a slut all the same. It was you, Mr White Canterbury shorts, that led me to believe this. But, since reading the letter from Brock Turner’s victim, I realized, what you did, Mr White Canterbury Shorts, was in fact rape.

I was 40 years old the first time I said the words I need help — even though more than three decades had passed since I first became aware that something was not right.

These days, I’m gentler with people than I’ve ever been. I’ve learned of the beauty and strength in each and every person regardless of where they come from or what they’ve been through — and with every interaction, I understand more why Mike saw the best in people.

Imprecise, hurtful language is a problem, because it legitimizes other people’s use of the c-word. This perpetuates the stigma around mental illness, because if a mall full of people, or a rampaging toddler is “crazy”, that re-enforces the image that mental illness isn’t real disability. It says “crazy” just equals chaos, impulsiveness, or the inability to get your life together.

By introducing my father’s illness as a fact during a time when his mental health had no negative effects on my life, my parents enabled me to live without stigma, which in turn empowered me to advocate for my father’s treatment when his health took a turn for the worse my freshmen year of college.

It's completely normal to be a woman and enjoy sex. The trouble is that when I’ve expressed my sexuality openly online, I’ve encountered some unwanted attention from men.