things

I’m not arguing for hoarding. I dislike clutter. But paring possessions down to the bone can cut too deep for tender times. I regret decluttering.

A couple of years ago I asked my therapist if she thought my inability to separate things and the memories associated with those things was some kind of coping mechanism. The same way the smell of a Jose Cuervo tequila makes me panic, does a shawl make me calm.

I know my more-than-average amount of stuff is related to my higher-than-average wealth, which makes me self-conscious — especially as someone who used to have to budget groceries to the dime. I can’t separate my privilege from my possessions, but I also know this isn’t just about that. It’s deeper than that.