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The tale of women faking the big O has been around forever, and is often bandied about as a joke. But when it becomes an act of self protection, it is a massive negotiation on a woman's sexuality.

I have slept with seven men: five bona fide boyfriends, one guy I was seeing for a time, and one one-night stand. According to Slate’s sex history calculator, which is based on data in the General Social Survey from 2006-2014, I have slept with more people than 53% of my female peers, which I think gives me an edge comparing the sexual performances of men.

The key to moving on came years later, having been within my reach the entire time: simply acknowledging that I am a sexual being.

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