divorce
Divorce is so common. This commonality does not make it easier, nor does it mean the emotions behind it easily subside. Let's keep talking about divorce.
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“I don’t want to die alone,” I mutter to myself as I sweep the kitchen floor in my new home. These words represent my greatest fear.
It’s a Saturday morning, and I am alone. A loud silence rings in my home. It's a silence formed by my son, who is not here. There isn’t an iPad blaring with cartoons on Netflix or Hulu. The only noise is a broom raking across a linoleum floor. The sink is filled with pots and pans, remnants of a recent dinner. Alongside the casserole dishes and saucepans is a solitary plate.
In my new home, I am alone half the time.
The other half of my time is spent with my child. He isn’t responsible for my happiness. I want to watch him grow up, find independence, and learn to fly. I never want my fears to hold him back.
He watched as his father and I finalized our divorce in December. He'd started splitting his time between two houses in July, when I moved in with my mother.
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While I don’t introduce myself as “Hi I’m Nisha, and I’m divorced,” I do reveal this fact relatively quickly; actually, I brag about it.
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Talk about a tricky conversation — announcing you want a divorce is not something any of us look forward to.
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It is natural for memory to gloss over the painful events and emphasize the good ones. You may be viewing your ex through rose-colored glasses.
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Nothing about my decision to move on focus my time and energy on myself and my children instead of my failing marriage was taken casually or quickly.
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