Coffee addiction

Your dirty brown garbage water is a scourge upon the human race, and I'm here to say it's time to call it quits. Let's all just admit that coffee is disgusting, and move on with our lives. It has no place beside delicious breakfast foods, and it is high time we banned this foul liquid from sullying the world of brunch.

It was there to get you through the long nights of cramming for midterms you should have prepared for weeks prior. It livened your eyes at those first few internship meetings. It reminded you that you were a rockstar, even at 6 a.m. on Mondays.