BDSM

I feel absolutely zero shame or embarrassment saying I am one hell of a badass bitch. I’m sure of myself and I know who I am. What many who know me don’t know is that when it comes to sex, I am a submissive. And there ain’t nothing wrong with that, honey.

Trying to be dominant feels like acting for me. This isn’t to say there is no acting during scenes when I’m bottoming, but there’s a reason why I preferred working backstage when I did theatre in college—I don’t like pretending to be something I’m really not. It isn’t comfortable. It doesn’t feel natural.

As with any book that explores a realm diverging from the mundane, there has been a lot of talk about not only the writing (apparently it sucks), but also the topic. While some are appalled by it, others, like myself, are just giving my fellow friends who enjoy some spanking action high fives. It's about time that a woman wanting to play the submissive role in the bedroom is portrayed in a light that makes it seem like a normal sex act, not something that goes on in a creepy S&M dungeon.

The first time I remember learning what a safeword was, I was sitting in my college dorm, devouring blogs about kink and BDSM. It all seemed so foreign to me, a teenager who couldn’t imagine real people doing any of the taboo things these blogs talked about.

My first BDSM experience happened was at the age of 26, and it was an eye-opening night for me. The next morning, I found myself questioning my identity as a feminist. How could I want a man to do those things to me?

In a decision that feels like a neo-Brave New World, the UK has forbidden 10 sex acts from being depicted in online pornography.