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Biologically speaking, I do have a "mother." There is a woman somewhere who gave birth to me. But that's not a mom and I really wish I had a mother!

When my mom died, I made a list of things that made me similar to her: My favorite color was purple, I liked to write, I loved reading, I adored cats, I didn’t wear makeup, my favorite soda was Pepsi, I lived in oversized sweaters. I was 11, so I didn’t add “I love to drink” to the list, but it crosses my mind now whenever I’m at a bar with friends, and I decide to order a cocktail.

I’m afraid I’m going to lose my wife to AA. My wife and I are both in our mid 30s and we’ve been married for six years, together for nine. When we met, we both drank socially, or I thought we did. I started noticing after we got married that her drinking increased.

I’m lucky because I got sober at my second AA meeting. After my first meeting, I ran home and drank for five days straight.

I was relieved to know that my disease was just that — a dis-ease. It wasn’t bad willpower or morals — I had a three-fold disease of mind, body and spirit.

When I first got sober, I was resistant to a lot of the things I was hearing in 12-step communities and recovery circles. I’ve always been a feminist and much of the rhetoric I was hearing seemed to go against everything I stood for.

AA has helped millions on the path to sobriety—but the pioneering Center for Motivation and Change may be a better path for some.