20

I’ve been 20 for, like, a whole month now — which is the most adult I’ve ever been. I’m certifiably ancient. Upon reflecting over these two years of arbitrary official adulthood, I thought to myself, “Self, you have so much to offer the world! People certainly want to hear what you have to say!” And so here we are. (Approximately 3 out of 5 Republican uncles will think this intro is dead serious.)

I’m about to turn 41.