In today’s HUH news: cryogenic therapy (though I would argue that therapy is definitely not the appropriate term here).
You’re probably wondering, what IS cryogenic therapy? I wondered that too! It sounds like something that guy who owns Virgin Atlantic would do (you guys, he owns a whole ISLAND [that’s probably just going to make you sad if you watch it]).
Anyway.
It is not, in this case anyway, freezing your dead body with hopes to resurrect it later in a (probably) futile attempt at immortality. It IS using freezing fricken' nitrogen to treat stuff. Now, nitrogen has been used in medical therapy for a long time (it’s used to treat HPV, which is awesome because HPV can contribute to some types of cervical cancer, and certain cancerous tumors). YAY Medicine!
It is apparently also using nitrogen for other stuff that is not tumors or warts. For example: sports recovery (I don’t even understand this, but Google told me so), WEIGHT LOSS (but when you FREEZE you burn 800 calories in three minutes! YAY! WHAT?), pimple freezing (seems a little extreme but ok). AND NOW, introducing (well not introducing but more like marveling at) cryogenic therapy for cellular rejuvenation!
That’s right. Freeze your face and freeze time (I just made that up, but I feel like it’s probably a pretty good slogan).
OR DIE (probably a less good slogan).
Yeah. I said die. A couple of weeks ago a Las Vegas woman (and manager of a cryogenic therapy salon — whatever that is) literally froze herself, TO DEATH.
Ok that’s not a totally fair description because she didn’t actually freeze herself into ice or anything. She just breathed so much nitrogen that she basically suffocated. Which sounds really awful and also incredibly sad.
Presumably she did this accidentally, but either way, why? To me this sort of thing just screams let’s just do one more thing to our bodies to try to stop —or at least thwart — the aging process. And, in truth, we can’t even really know if there is reasonable evidence to support cryogenics in things outside ACTUAL medical applications.
I’m going to leave the freezing to the athletes and the kooks (Richard Branson, I'm looking at you). I don't even like 35 degrees much less -320 degrees F. NO THANKS.
