Erin Khar

Q. I’m 39 years old, female, and I have no idea how my life turned into such a soap opera.

Here are some further thoughts on miscarriage, the Internet, and how we can be supportive to women going through one.

She’s made all the mistakes, so you don’t have to… Ask Erin is a weekly advice column, in which Erin answers your burning questions about anything at all.

Q.

Hi Erin,

So this one's a little complicated, and I’m not really sure how to explain it without it sounding insane.

My partner and I have been together on and off since we were teenagers, which is now well over half a decade. I love him, and I think that where we are now, I’m probably going to end up with him permanently. This terrifies me.

Do I have a responsibility to tell my rapist that he raped me? Or am I giving him the benefit of the doubt again by assuming he doesn't already know?

On Sunday, my husband was in the shower. He left his phone on our bed, which he never does. It lit up with a text from “S.” That’s the name that popped up, “S.” Something about it bothered me. Before I had time to think about it, I was typing in his password, which he has never changed, and read the text which was explicit and made it clear that this person, S, had not only seen my husband’s penis, but had done things with it.

I’ve been in a lesbian relationship for two years. The first six months were amazing. After that, she began pulling away from me in small ways. At first, she gave me fewer compliments. Then, we started having sex less, going out together less, in general spending less time together.

Ask Erin! is a weekly advice column, in which Erin answers your burning questions, about anything at all.

My boyfriend is ignoring me. I am 32 and he is 34. We have been together for six months. We are both pretty busy with work etc, but I always make him a priority. I always feel like I am giving more than he does and it’s come to a crisis point.

When you mumble, I think you don’t really care about what you have to say or I’m not important enough to hear you. Is it shyness? Is it laziness? Is it apathy? Have you forgotten how to speak properly because of your reliance on texting? Whatever it is, it has to STOP. Low-talkers, I’m looking at you, too.

Failure to thrive. It’s an awful term. All I heard was failure. In my mind, over and over, you’ve failed him, you’ve failed him.