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I really wanted to hate the pilot of Bravo’s Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce. While it sounded worth at least an hour of my time (hey, at worst, I could enjoy making fun of it), I felt like it would be rife with stereotypes and be about as realistic as the show that had led into it, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. While both shows are scripted (we all know reality television isn’t real), sometimes reality television is
so over the top, it’s hard to relate to. Edelstein herself said:
"I think you can be a little crazier when it's scripted because no one's real life is at risk. You can actually go further and be more intimate and still tell the same kind of stories, but deeper."
But does the show, in fact, go deeper?
Here’s the quick synopsis: The life of famous relationship-guru author, Abby McCarthy (played by Lisa Edelstein) who's made her living writing books about her wonderful marriage and kids, is in the process of consciously uncoupling. Her husband, Jake, is openly cheating on her with a much younger woman. (Okay—that’s a stereotype, but were you expecting him to cheat with a woman 20 years older than he is?) While it’s a secret from the kids and the rest of the world, it’s not a secret to Abby’s two best girlfriends, divorcées Phoebe and Lyla, who have plenty of their own drama as well. The girls power lunch, go clubbing and there’s even a fun girl-on-girl kiss.
Notably, the characters aren’t the stereotypical damsels in distress and jilted ex-wives, we’ve come to know in movies like the First Wives Club or television shows like Reba. Instead, through its characters, Girlfriends' Guide addresses one factor in the failure of relationships that we don’t like to talk about in real life or on the screen: Most of the time, breakups aren’t one person’s fault entirely. Which is to say, humans are messy, complex, imperfect lumps. This means that Jake cheats on Abby, but is also extremely jealous when she cheats on him. And despite her marriage and life falling apart largely because of Jake, when she cheats on him, Abby makes the fatal mistake so many of us make when we are still attached to our exes—she calls out Jake's name in bed with another man. Later retelling the story to a friend over the phone, she says, “I said Jake’s name twice. I just can’t shake it—it’s like a third of my sex vocabulary.”
But perhaps my favorite character on the show is Lyla, played by Jeanine Garofalo, who is unfortunately only in the first six episodes. Lyla is the Miranda of the show, but smarter, wittier and more successful. When we first meet her, in a scene that’s been written a million times for men, Lyla complains about paying her former spouse $50k per month in child support. You can feel feminists clapping everywhere at the end of the scene. A female breadwinner! Hurrah! We win!
But not so fast, there’s a twist. Lyla’s husband, Dan stops by her house for the ceremonious post-divorce child drop-off. When the kids go upstairs, there’s some fifty shades of “Hey, I wasn’t expecting that.” Dan confesses he’s getting serious with his girlfriend and is no longer into S&M, which clearly wasn’t Lyla’s bag. Slightly saddened, Lyla kindly asks if he wants to stay for dinner with she and the boys. He agrees. Cut to them sleeping together (well, we were expecting that) and getting drunk in bed. Dan leaves. But while we are expecting Lyla to turn into a sad, insecure sap in his wake—in a Miranda 2014 wardrobe—Lyla is anything but. She calls the cops to report Dan for drunk driving. This is the fastest $50k per month Lyla’s ever going to re-earn.
The show even handles parenting well. As someone who doesn’t have children, I have a tendency to notice the mommytainment aspects of everything because let’s face it, no one without kids gives a shit about your carpool or soccer league. While the pilot is called "Rule #23 Never Lie To The Kids," the characters on the show are people before they are parents. While there are funny kid moments peppered throughout the show—like a little boy saying “penis” multiple times—the lives of the characters are very much influenced by their kids, but certainly not controlled by them.
Overall, Girlfriends' Guide is more of an updated Sex and the City meets the "For Crying Out Loud" podcast (which is one of my favorite podcasts and guiltiest pleasures)—an excellent blend of glamour, drama and sex with an honest look at relationships and gender roles. And you don't need a wedding band tan line to appreciate it.
