Ahhh, the walk of shame. How many times have you unceremoniously strut the streets with the remnants of last night’s triumphs/mistakes on your body? Be honest; we’re all friends here.
New walk of shame kit totes has your back—almost. It contains:
-Dress (one size fits most boobies/asses)
-Flip-flops (one size fits most feet)
-Drawstring backpack
-Sunglasses
-Pre-pasted toothbrush
-Hypoallergenic wipes
-Note cards
-Breast cancer awareness bracelet (a portion of the proceeds benefits breast cancer research)
So at first glance we thought this sassy 'lil kit was f*cking brilliant. If you live in a ridiculously gossipy town (lookin’ at you, Napa, California), this could be your personal salvation against eternal slut damnation from the village elders. You could peace out of your victim’s—I mean, new friend’s—place feeling fresh before heading out to get a coffee and croissant. Plus, you can feel ultra awesome about banging for breast cancer!
That being said, sometimes an embarrassing amble to your own dwellings is refreshing. Rebounding off a bad breakup? A silly stumble through your city may provide enough laughs to get you smiling again. Then there’s the bonding factor. For me personally, my best friend loves receiving SnapChats from my happily haggard face after a long night. She laughs at me, I laugh at myself; for a brief moment, it doesn’t feel like we live hours apart. When gossiping with other girls, it’s fun to relish in the post-orgasm shame(lessness). Sure, there’s a hot bevy of societal double standards about chicas engaging in such behavior, but that’s what makes it all the more uniting. If you’re all fresh faced and dolled up in innocuous attire following your tawdry tryst, you could miss out on some of the undeniable fun of a random rendezvous.
But, we do have a bone to pick ladies. Why does it have to be a walk of shame? Time to get personal: I am not ashamed of ANY man I've slept with. Period. That would be both an insult to myself and the man in question. F*ck double standards—stand by your choices, even if large quantities of alcohol helped influence them. Having sex—even with a so-called stranger—doesn't have to be shameful. This term not only implies guilt but a lack of honor, none of which we're on board with. It also dredges us miserable images of being tainted forever, of having sullied your very being. In short, this is a poor, anti-woman (even if you're trying to be funny) word choice. Let's ditch it.
Again, some communities do not foster this kind of post-sexual revolution acceptance in any sense and that may be something you have to seriously consideration—or consciously disregard—during your journey home. Despite what everyone else thinks, eliminating the "shame" portion—at least in your own head—is going to do you a world of good.
Our advice? Buy this as a gag gift for your most Samantha Jones-esque friends. Don’t be offended if she never uses it, but at least make sure she texts a picture of herself in the “one size fits most” dress.
Image: This doesn't have to be you. Courtesy of, Allbum.Art
